Working Mom vs. Stay at home Mom

The argument of who has it harder has been long standing, but if you think about it there is no right or wrong answer. Every mom is different and her capabilities to handle situations are to. Some moms find it easier to return to work while others find it easier to stay home. It also has a lot to depend on the mom’s partner if they have one. For example it would be a lot easier for a mother whom is married to a spouse that has a good high paying job than a married mother whose spouse is working on minimum wage. Both going to work and staying at home has it’s benefits and downfalls being away from your child when they are new to you is difficult. My daughter is two months old and I am leaving her for the first time this weekend for my husbands work Christmas party. I already have separation anxiety and it hasn’t even come time to do it yet. This is mostly because she is my first child. I can imagine it gets easier with preceding children but that’s only something I can speak for when I get there. While I disagreed with some of the statements on this site I am going to share with you such as stay at home mom’s are less educated there are a lot of statistics as to show how staying at home has finical and social factors. I disagree with being a stay at home mom and being less educated because I am currently at stay at home mom and I am going to school, and I plan to go back to work when I graduate in a year. Anyways here is that site. http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/04/08/7-key-findings-about-stay-at-home-moms/

Another site I found is from the always interesting Dr. Phil. He also believes that not one way is the correct answer. It’s kind of like the statement the grass is always greener on the other side. In this article they bring up key argument points one I feel particularly strong about which is missing a child’s milestone. My husband works 12 hours a day with no days off and his job would require this whether I went to work or not so I feel why should we both be absent from her life. I want to be there when she first smiles, says her first word, and takes her first step. On the other side it does becoming very demanding to be home all the time and sometimes I feel like having a little break from it all by going back to work would be kind of nice. It really all just depends on the mother. I am interested to learn what you all think or feel about stay at home mothers and which one you would choose. Here is the link to that site http://drphil.com/articles/article/284

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Where did my Sleep go?!?!?!

1350627579196_2589108Sleep…you never truly understand just how amazing it is until you can’t have it. Any mother you ask will more than likely have some interesting story about lack of sleep. Like putting the spoon in the refrigerator and looking for the box of cereal in the washer. Lack of sleep can do interesting things to your mind but somehow your body still manages to go on with the motivation of your little one. I have learned that my body has become accustomed to lack of sleep. I can function normally on about 4 hours of sleep now. This would never be possible if I did not have my beautiful daughter driving me. A website I found that was useful to me was http://scienceofmom.com/2013/05/14/sleep-deprivation-the-dark-side-of-parenting/ It holds a lot of beneficial information and something I read there rang particularly true to my life hence the picture above. It shows that while new moms loose about 45 minutes of sleep to there already end of pregnancy sleep deprivation. Dad’s loose only about 18 minutes. I’m thinking yup that’s my husband and must be nice. But the truth is we let them sleep since they resume working way before we do, at least I do. It’s a lot harder for them to adjust in part being that their huge mess of changing and raging hormones are directly connected to pregnancy or the little one.

Adjusting can also be hard for some mothers out there. Lack of sleep is no joke and takes a lot of work and time to get used to. It plays a large role in mental stability and happiness, and with our hormones and emotions already being ran through a ringer it can become very easy to fall into postpartum depression or become ill. Let me be one of the many to tell you this does not make something wrong with you or make you a bad mother. It’s normal and very treatable but you have to speak up if your feeling like something is off. Nobody is going to judge you and it will make your life and the sleep deprivation much easier to deal with. I started to feel myself fall into the pit of stress and depression and found myself wondering why I was having such thoughts. Instead of ignoring them I started doing research and linked my symptoms to postpartum depression. I was thinking I was a horrible mother and was not cut out for motherhood if I could feel and think such a way, but after reading up I decided to take action and started writing down my feeling and carefully going through them. That’s when I stepped back and realized just how ludicrous my thinking really was it also helps to talk to someone. If it does not start to get better after that then call a doctor there is nothing to be ashamed of. A website that I found particulary helpful and might just help you or someone you know to is http://www.postpartumprogress.com/the-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression-anxiety-in-plain-mama-english. If any of you have any experience with this or know someone that went through it I encourage you to share please. It does get better, I got through it and I know you can to!

Breastfeeding

For my first posting I want to tackle one of the most controversial topics about motherhood, Breastfeeding! Keep in mind this blog is Switzerland I don’t want it to become a battleground but yet a source of new understanding and to gain information or help when YOU need it! So open up your mind and let’s get started. While I am pro breastfeeding and am currently doing so I don’t judge or look down upon those that don’t. Everyone has their reasoning behind their choices. There are so many things I want to discuss about breastfeeding like how painful it can get. I never knew wearing a shirt could bring me to tears and make me want to scream.

It took a support system from many different sources to make that better and I would love to share my knowledge to other mommies who may have the same problem or encounter it in the future but we will save that for a later posting. This post is going to touch on breastfeeding in public and should or should not be acceptable. Lets start this off with some mental imagery lets say you are a passenger on a long car ride and the driver is dead set on getting to the destination with a few stops as possible. This morning you realized you forgot to pack a few things for the trip so you skipped breakfast to get everything together a couple hours into your trip your stomach starts growling intensely but you feel bad for wanting to ask the driver to pull over since you know he doesn’t want to stop.  What would you do….would you starve yourself and the expense of other’s pleasure or ask the driver to pull over to satisfy one of your survival needs. This is kind of how I feel the debate on whether moms should feed their baby in public is. As a breast feeder I am self conscious of whipping a boob out to feed my baby so I try to find as private of a place as possible then I am extra careful in providing the source of food to my child to show as little as possible. This is still in public though and some feel very strongly against it, but I refuse to starve my child to make other’s happy she will always come first. I try and pump ahead of time to avoid this but being that I live an hour away from anything social such as doctor’s appointments my pumped supply will only last so long.

I do my best to be respectful of others but some mom’s just don’t care what other’s think as much and when their child is hungry out pops the booby! More power to them for being proud and nurturing. When this happens I can see other’s point of view as well if I were a mom on say a 14-15 year old boy I would be upset if his first introduction into seeing a boob was in a mall by someone who didn’t care what was showing or not. So i can see and understand both sides and neither is right or wrong it’s just what some are comfortable with more than others. There is more and more negative attention to breastfeeding in public like the mother getting asked to leave  her doctor’s office for refusing to quit feeding her child in the waiting room. I personally feel that is a business or people feel so strongly against it then they should provided comfortable clean areas for mother’s to nurse.

A bathroom is not only unsanitary but it is also an inconvenience to others as well a newborn can feed for a long period of time…meanwhile your outside doing the pee pee dance wondering and getting angry about how could someone be in the bathroom for so long. This is the kind of topic where the grass is always greener on the other side sort of deal. So now I open up the table to you. What are your viewpoints on breastfeeding in public and why? Please feel free to share your personal stories whether they be funny or serious I would love to hear them. One of mine would be the first time I breastfed in public what at a dental surgeons office and they had security desks everywhere and the officer just kept looking over and staring even though my daughter was under a blanket and I wear clothing that hangs over so nobody can see anything I was so self conscious and felt a little disturbed that someone that is supposed to represent the positive and safety of our communities made me feel so awkward.